


Losing You

by Gizzwhizz



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Asexual Noctis Lucis Caelum, Bromance, Confessions, Feelings Realization, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27089182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gizzwhizz/pseuds/Gizzwhizz
Summary: Noct grapples with his fear of truly losing Gladio, and exactly why the thought upsets him so much. Set post-Episode Gladio.My piece for the "Lost in the Wilds" Gladnoct Zine.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> Asexual Noct is my favorite to write! (Though, you can also feel free to read this as just friendship/bromance, as well.) It never really sat right with me that Noct wasn't more upset post-Episode Gladio about the fact that Gladio just up-and-left and very well could have died and they would not have even known until Cor found them to tell them the news. So I decided to write about it. I hope you enjoy my little bit of character exploration into that.

The sound of rocks crashing against one another was deafening, bouncing off the cave walls until it filled every inch of Noct’s head. If Gladio said anything, he didn’t hear it, only felt the Shield’s body slam into his before they both hit the ground in a tangle of limbs. One large palm cradled the back of his head, cushioning it. Even so, the breath was knocked out of him and all Noct could do was lay there, sandwiched between cold stone and warm skin.

It seemed to take an eternity for the ringing in his head to subside, probably much longer than the rockslide actually lasted. Finally, it was quiet.

Noct sat up as soon as Gladio released him, both of them staring at the wall of boulders cutting them off from the rest of the cave.

“Well, damn,” Gladio grunted, getting up and offering a hand to tug Noct up as well. The Prince frowned at the wall, watching a few stray stones bounce down to the ground.

“Ignis!” Noct yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Prompto!” His own voice echoed back to him, the only reply he received.

“Hey, do you have any service?” Gladio asked. Noct turned to see him frowning at his phone and hastily fished out his own, unlocking it in a hurry. His heart fell as he saw that he had no bars. Looking back up, he shook his head.

“Damn,” Gladio swore again, shoving his phone into his back pocket. “Come on. I don’t trust the integrity of the ceiling and it’s getting late. Let’s find a place to make camp and we’ll try to find another way out tomorrow.” He turned and began leading the way further into the cave. “Glad I thought to keep some supplies in the Armiger.”

Noct watched the wall of fallen rocks for a moment longer before turning to follow. He wanted to argue that Ignis and Prompto might be hurt, but Gladio made a good point. They were already tired from fighting off a number of daemons in the cave all day and there was no guarantee they wouldn’t make things worse trying to dig their way out.

And, in truth, Noct’s concern was less for his friends’ safety. He simply no longer knew how to talk to Gladio since he’d returned from Gilgamesh’s trial.

He followed the Shield almost robotically as he led them to a more stable opening in the cave, gathering what scattered kindling he could find and starting a fire as he pulled a package of hot dogs from the Armiger along with two sleeping bags.

“Good thing we cleaned this area out pretty well before,” he said as Noct sat by the fire and accepted a hot dog speared on a stick, “we should probably still sleep in shifts, though, to be on the safe side.”

Noct could only nod. His eyes were drawn to the new scars on Gladio’s forehead and across his chest, as they often were these days. Try as he might, he couldn’t understand it. He’d heard of the trial before, in some history book, but it was a relic. No one was expected to complete it any longer to be considered a true Shield of the King—namely because it constituted an unnecessary risk.

What had possessed Gladio to make him think that he needed to undertake something so stupid? Was he really that much stronger for having succeeded? And if he had failed…

Hadn’t Noct lost enough?

“I’m sure Iggy and Blondie are fine,” Gladio said, startling Noct out of his thoughts. Noct blinked and frowned at his hotdog, turning the stick absently in his hand.

“That’s not what I was thinking about,” he admitted, keeping his gaze fixed on the flames.

“Okaaaay,” Gladio drawled, leaving his own hot dog until it began to char before flipping it over. “So what _is_ on your mind, then, Princess?”

Noct gritted his teeth at the nickname. It got to him on his best days and now it only seemed to inflame his nerves all the more.

“You’re an idiot,” he spat. Accusations were never the best opener to a conversation with Gladio, but he was too frazzled to worry about that right now.

“Excuse me?” Gladio replied in an icy voice.

“You’re an idiot,” Noct repeated, glowering at their small fire now. “You just ran off without telling any of us where you were going. And what? Were we just supposed to hear it from Cor if you ended up dead?” Finally, he turned to look at his Shield, gripping the stick in his hands so tight he heard the wood groan and threaten to snap.

Gladio only sighed.

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

“Why? Because you didn’t want to hear how dumb that was?” Noct challenged.

“Because I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Gladio shot back. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but things are different now. I needed…I needed to be stronger.”

“Yeah, because you’re _so much_ stronger now,” Noct huffed.

Gladio had apparently had enough because he stood, abandoning his hot dog completely.

“Alright, you wanna go, pipsqueak?” he nearly growled.

Noct stood as well, his own stick still clutched tightly in one hand while the other balled into a fist at his side. He glared at Gladio’s feet, unable to meet his gaze.

“It wasn’t worth it,” he said, his tone just as cold as Gladio’s now.

“It’s time to grow up, Princess,” Gladio retorted, his voice sounding oddly hollow in the wide cave. “We’re going to have to keep on making tough choices from here on out. Or do you not get that yet?”

“But we can make them together!” Noct yelled back, finally meeting those narrowed brown eyes. “It wasn’t your decision to make alone. Especially…” His voice cracked and he swallowed thickly, closing his eyes and forcing the rest of the sentence out through clenched teeth. “Especially not when it might mean losing you.”

He half expected Gladio to mock him again. _Aww, were you worried about little old me?_ He didn’t, though. In fact, he didn’t say anything. Finally the silence began to make Noct’s skin itch and he opened his eyes again.

Gladio had deflated somewhat, still standing straight but no longer looking ready to punch something. Now he was the one looking away, glaring at the far wall. Noct heard the rush of his heartbeat in his ears as the seconds ticked by. At last, Gladio collapsed back to his seat by the fire with a sigh, running a hand over his face.

“It felt worth it at the time,” he admitted at last. Cautiously, Noct lowered himself to sit again as well, somehow ending up a little closer to Gladio than he had been originally. The stick with his hotdog was forgotten, all of his attention on his Shield.

“I…I can’t lose you, too. Any of you,” Noct said in nearly a whisper. He thought of his father, sending them off with a smile knowing full well that he was likely walking into a trap. He might not have anticipated the full scope of the destruction, but he had very clearly sent Noct away when he did on purpose.

He had felt the same heaviness in his gut the moment Gladio had explained exactly where he had been and the danger he had faced. Again, on his behalf, Again, without him knowing.

“I deserve to at least know when people are trying to get themselves killed for me,” Noct said finally.

“What difference does it make?” Gladio sighed, one eye peeking out from between his fingers. “I mean, really?”

“The difference is that maybe I can help. The difference is that I—” Noct cut himself off again, just staring at Gladio. He’d never said it out loud. He hadn’t thought he’d needed to. He dropped his gaze again, focusing on his fists clenched in his lap.

“I care about you.”

Maybe his true feelings ran deeper than that, even Noct wasn’t quite sure, but in any case he knew that much was true. It was true, and Gladio deserved to know it. If he didn’t already.

“Noct,” Gladio sighed, but Noct shook his head before he could speak.

“I know. I know you’re my Shield and I know that that’s a lot more literal right now than it has been for a couple hundred years, but I just…I can’t lose you, too. Any of you,” he added the last a bit halfheartedly. It was true, he couldn’t lose Ignis or Prompto either, but something about Gladio’s potential death felt different.

More painful.

“Okay, Noct. Okay. No more side quests without clearing it with you first, alright?” Gladio said. When Noct looked up, he was surprised to see a wry smile on the other man’s face. Maybe he understood more than Noct had expected. More than Noct understood himself.

“Okay,” he echoed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his chest. “Thanks.”


End file.
